


Renaissance Men

by AbsoluteNegation



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Biting, Blood, Coercion, Community: valentine_smut, Complete, Dubious Consent, Dubious Science, M/M, Post-Canon, Scratching, Sexual Aggression, Youkai Hakkai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:16:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2017680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsoluteNegation/pseuds/AbsoluteNegation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hakkai's still being affected by the Minus Wave, well after the journey, and some answers are worth the price, even if he's paying the slimiest bastard in existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Renaissance Men

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vayshti](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=vayshti).



The office was at the end of the corridor from the elevator, to his right, just as the janitor had told him. The walls were gleaming, fresh-painted and well-preserved, as suited a university, and the pristine white ceilings and chairs in the waiting areas almost enough at making him less uneasy at being around machinery of this kind after Houtou. The letter he’d received after three weeks of tense waiting had been polite, interested, but cautiously so, and it was possibly best not to expect too much too early. Just because his circumstances were…unusual, to say the least… didn’t mean that he’d be greeted with enthusiasm – or funding – for the research for which he was offering himself as a test subject.

The white door at the end of the corridor simply read ‘Chang’, and was slightly ajar. Hakkai knocked politely, and an absent “Yeah?” greeted him – in an oddly familiar voice. Hakkai frowned a little, swallowing hard as he pushed the door open.

“My name’s Cho. Cho Hakkai; you replied to a letter of mine about three weeks ago…”

His voice trailed off as the man at the computer screen stopped typing, the sound of the keyboard tray rolling back under the desk punctuating his movement as he stood up, facing Hakkai with a faux welcoming smile. Hakkai’s breath, and possibly his heart, stopped dead. It was him, of course it was; the man simply didn’t know how to give up and die, and damn it, this was the second time Hakkai had given into that complacency.

“Of course. Mr. Cho.” Nii extended a hand, the innocence of his expression at odds with what Hakkai _knew_  was going through his mind. “Dr. Chang.”

“You’re supposed to be dead,” Hakkai said almost absently, stepping back towards the doorway. The door was ajar, the corridor wasn’t too long; as long as Nii hadn’t booby-trapped it, escape was a definite possibility…

Nii smirked, dropping his hand, obviously enjoying this. “Yes, well...dying seems to be something of a hobby of mine, yeah?”

Hakkai snorted at that, still carefully poised in the meagre protection of the doorway, suddenly regretting leaving Gojyo behind on what, admittedly, had seemed like a simple trip at the time. “And in which of these cupboards will I find the late Dr. Chang?”

Nii chuckled, spreading his hands; _who, me?_  “You’re looking at the one and only." A quiet _tsk._  "Quit hovering by the door; you came looking for me, not the other way around, remember?”

Hakkai’s jaw tightened further, dismay sweeping through him. He couldn’t trust Nii to help; not least because he was still trying to figure out how having a few dozen tons of rubble fall on him hadn’t fazed the man. “A mistake, I assure you. Good day.” He took a cautious step to the side, keeping him in his line of vision. There was no reason for Nii to attack him, but considering his rationale for unleashing the Wave had amounted to _why not?_ ….

Nii sat back down, propping his chin on his hand. “Ah,” he said conversationally. “So you’re not interested in knowing what _really_  turned you, then?”

Part of Hakkai cursed himself for his predictability as he froze; the rest of him seized onto the crumb of information eagerly. “I beg your pardon?”

Nii grinned. “You’ve been misled.” He nodded, then turned back to the computer. “Do feel free to drop by again any time you want to know the truth, of course.”

Hakkai stayed where he was, turning to look at Nii fully again. “How have I been misled, exactly?”

Nii blinked up at him with elaborate surprise at Hakkai’s continued presence. “Hmm? Oh. All that ‘blood of a thousand youkai’ nonsense. Utter bullshit, every word of it. Bye-bye."

Hakkai barely managed not to growl, busy dissecting Nii’s words. They held an unpleasant core of truth, and confirmed too many of his own suspicions – ones he’d nursed since the first terrifying days of the Wave, and all through the journey west and back, which had reared their ugly heads from low in his belly when weeks and months had passed without a decrease in the subtle constant pressure of insanity behind his eyes. It was only when Gojyo and Sanzo had begun noticing that something was wrong that he’d acknowledged it to himself: the thought that perhaps there was something about his physiology that had left some treacherous shard of the Wave still trapped in him. He took a step closer to Nii, caught up and hating himself for falling for the obvious bait. “What triggered it, then?”

Nii frowned up at him. “Make up your mind, will you?” He gestured at the chairs facing the desk. “Sit, if you’re going to stay. If not, get out. I do actually work, you know.”

Hakkai sat, his jaw tight with anger behind the smile he plastered onto his face, knowing Nii would see past it. “Fine, let’s cut to the explanations, then.”

Nii smiled greasily. “Far more productive. How many youkai _did_  you kill?”

Hakkai tensed almost imperceptibly, curling his hands around the chair’s arms, where Nii couldn’t see them. “I’m fairly certain I did make a thousand.” He let his faint smile add the _obviously_.

Nii nodded. “And who told you about it?”

Hakkai tucked away memories of old knives and razor claws, the obscene sound of blood dripping onto his wound, and carefully did not react. “The last one I killed. I’ve heard others confirm it since, independently.”

Nii laughed, almost offensively loud. “And that didn’t seem a bit convenient to you? That the last of the clan you decimated would be that magical thousandth, and that he would gleefully inform you of that fact before you tore his guts out?”

Hakkai stiffened, partly at how _complete_  Nii’s information was, but mostly at the fact that Nii had zeroed in on the one thought that had driven him, finally, to write to universities asking for any knowledge that they might have. Everything had been so pat - too pat – and he’d gained just enough distance from it in five years to touch that night again, relive it in words. “And the alternative?”

Nii grinned, manic. “I’m just a working stiff these days, you know. Surely you don’t expect me to provide answers without payment.”

That, oddly enough, relaxed him a little. The helpfulness had been somewhat too….helpful. “I’ve brought funds that I hope will be sufficient to fund your time and any research you may want to conduct.” The card lay heavy in his pocket, and Sanzo would boil to know where it was going…but Nii had a reputation – one Hakkai knew firsthand. If his curiosity could lead him to provide the answers Hakkai needed, did it matter who he was?

“Research?” Nii quirked an eyebrow. “Just what is it you’d like me to do for you?”

Hakkai swallowed, schooling himself to stillness. “I was hoping for answers on the process of my transformation.” He shook his head, wary of revealing too much to Nii of all people, but the prospect of _knowing_ … “…and I seem to be struggling with the after-effects of the Wave rather longer than most of my counterparts.”

Nii frowned thoughtfully, nodding after a minute. “Rather a lot of _expensive_ tests, to find out what you want to know. And some hassle for me, of course, to get the required equipment freed up for an entire day. ” He gave Hakkai a slow look, obviously testing him. Hakkai returned it levelly, nodding in silent assent. “Still, it can be done.” The eyebrow quirk, again. “The price, though...what will you be willing to pay, I wonder?”

Hakkai had known better than to relax; it didn’t stop him from stiffening further, although he was paradoxically relieved by the less than noble motivation. “That would depend on your terms, don't you think? I doubt you're referring to cash, somehow.”

Nii grinned widely. “Very good. No, I really don’t need money. What I want…” His gaze oozed over Hakkai’s body, setting off a chain reaction of memories that lead right back to dungeons and claws. “ – is _you_. ”

Keeping his voice steady was an effort. “Meaning?”

“Try not to bore me, hm? I want you. Your body. In exchange for giving you the answers you want, Cho Hakkai, I want to fuck you.”

And there it was, the one price that would truly exact something from him. 

Hakkai swallowed hard, his mind racing over possibilities (none), alternatives (none), and probable consequences (many). There might be another way, but the idea of spending months or years searching for an inferior answer, when Nii could tell him what he needed to know in a matter of days was less than palatable. Returning here would require much, much more than staying. He'd done worse, and for nothing more than his own satisfaction; what was one more sin in a lifetime of them, if it got him the answers that he needed? 

_Gojyo..._  Gojyo would understand, should he ever find out - which he wouldn't..

Hakkai nodded slowly, standing up, finding refuge in detachment, still disbelieving what he was about to say. “Payment on delivery of results, then.”

“Do me the courtesy of not taking me for a fool.”

“ _My_  business ethics aren’t questionable.”

That earned him a Look. “As a token of goodwill, let me give you some help….you want to talk to the man who designed the Minus Wave. What was his name again?”

Hakkai’s smile widened reflexively, hiding the rage seething in his throat. “All right,” he said, schooling his voice to softness.

“Is that an acceptance of my terms?”

Hakkai nodded tightly. “I suppose we’ll meet on the day of the tests, then. I’ll be in contact.”

“I proposed terms for tests, research, and answers to why the Minus wave seems to be lingering with you.” Nii licked his lips, drawing it out deliberately. “In exchange for the truth about your original transformation...well, I believe that requires a show of good faith. …A down payment.”

Hakkai pushed the chair back, ignoring the sour taste of disgust in his mouth as he watched him like a hawk, not wanting to overextend; he had only the most tenuous control over the situation as it was. “What do you want?”

The grin widened, grew even greasier. “Such a tiny piece of information…yet so important.” He hummed contemplatively. “I think a blowjob should be sufficient.”

Hakkai took a deep breath, reminding himself that tearing Nii apart with bare (clawless) hands would be counterproductive. He gritted his teeth as he walked around the desk to Nii, who turned to face him with a wary leer. “Remember, I’m the only one who can give you what you want.”

Hakkai almost laughed aloud at that; as if there could be any other reason. Sank smoothly to his knees, not about to give Nii the chance to prolong this with any foreplay; this would be, after all, precisely as humiliating as Hakkai allowed it to be. “Afraid I’ll bite it off, Doctor?”

“Hardly,” Nii chuckled. “You seem to prefer the blood on your hands, where you can see it.” His hand combed through Hakkai’s hair for a moment before Hakkai pulled away. “Shall I tell you first? Good faith, and all that?”

Hakkai’s lip curled in a snarl as he reached for Nii’s fly. “Multitask,” he snapped. “I’d rather not draw this out.”

\------------------------------------------------------------

The colours on the screen bloomed and collapsed, every detail of his brain laid out for him to read, if only he knew how. It was morbidly fascinating to watch himself laid bare and reduced to data like this, and frankly, anything that distracted him from memories of yesterday (or speculation on the next two hours) would be welcome. “Look at that,” Nii whispered to himself, and Hakkai shivered. Still, it was unsettling to see the rapt look on Nii’s face as he studied the data, the distracted, mechanical way he’d chewed his way through the takeout carton of noodles he’d brought with him. If watching his secrets revealed was disturbing, and strangely invasive, it was worse to see the detachment in Nii’s appreciation, even though Hakkai had agreed – even asked him to.

“Is it finished?”

Nii grunted, nodding emphatically without bothering to look up from the screen, apparently just reminded that Hakkai was there. For some reason, Hakkai was rather inclined to believe that; the man had spent far too much time completely oblivious to his presence. Nii cleared his throat, visibly pulling himself back. “The good news is that I know why the wave isn’t fading on you.”

Hakkai crossed his arms and quelled his pang of hope. “Why is that?”

Nii looked at him sideways, a smirk playing on his lips. “Because it never affected you at all.”

And the bottom dropped out of his world – except that it hadn’t, really; wasn’t this exactly why he’d sought help for what should have been obvious? “…what?”

Nii snickered. “Sorry, sunshine, but it looks like you’re screwed for a cure.”

Calm. This hinged on him being calm; open emotion would only be incentive for Nii to toy with him further. “I know what it was like to remove my limiters during the Wave.”

“Ever heard of the placebo effect?”

“All youkai were affected to some extent – as you should know. I’m not a simpleton.”

Nii turned his chair and braced his foot on the desk, leaning back and fixing Hakkai with a derisive look. “Nor, in the strictest sense, are you _youkai._  I designed the fucking thing, yeah? You weren't affected.”

Hakkai tucked away the momentary flash of fear. “Explain.”

Nii smirked evilly. “Ah, and there lies everything you came here for, hm? I'm afraid I can't tell you that, just yet.”

And there it was: the bite of the leash. He’d been wondering how much more he could get away with. Hakkai stepped back and to the side to face Nii, giving him a wry smile, wrapped in ironclad resignation. “I thought scientists were notorious for poor business skills.”

Nii spread his hands in apology, a gesture mocked by his wolfish grin. “I’m a renaissance man. And your payment is due.”

Hakkai returned it, equally predatory, not giving an inch. Complacency was dangerous, but Nii could only inflict so much pain – and likely less than Hakkai himself had, in the past. “As we agreed. Where would you like me to bend over?”

Nii chuckled. “You know, I _like_  you. Kindred spirit, or some shit.” He licked his lips, obscenely. “But that’s not how this is going to work.”

Hakkai snorted, arms at his sides in a perfect image of ease under Nii’s hungry scrutiny. “I apologise for my presumption. I didn’t realise you’d prefer me to top.”

Nii cracked up, his head falling back as he laughed, apparently genuinely amused. “Ah, I do like you,” he said, the honesty in his voice startling, and disturbing. Hate, Hakkai knew intimately, from a thousand war-cries and the seeking of vengeance; obsession, he’d learned from his cradle, and perfected on the canvas of his sister’s body; it was the sincerity of Nii’s disinterest that made him so dangerous. He took a long, deep breath, fixing Hakkai with a look just shy of obscenity. “Make no mistake, sweetcakes. Today, you’re _my_  toy.”

Hakkai swallowed, keeping himself poised with an effort of will; tilted his head, an open challenge in his gaze as he resigned himself to what was to come. He’d spent all night in uneasy thought, the memory of surprisingly soft skin under his hands

_and his tongue_

repellent and fascinating at once, the deliberate indulgence of the emotional masochism he’d been too often accused of enjoying not to admit to himself. He’d sunk to his knees as smoothly as any boy brought up Catholic, and despite the distinctly ungodly nature of why he had, the dispassionate precision with which he’d mouthed prayers to the false gods of his caretakers applied as much to the taste of skin, the mechanics of stimulation, the controlling of pleasure, and giving Nii’s hands tacit permission to guide him – faster, harder, deeper. Stimulus, response. Pleasure, fulfillment. Completion, reward. The mathematics of the situation had been simple then, and he’d known even at the time that it had been dangerously simple; a delicate sort of sparring both had recognised to be the prelude it was. The deeper he was drawn into this, the worse it would be, and part of him craved the pain; pleasure was more to be feared.

“I let you get away with it yesterday, because I rather like my blowjobs quick and dirty, hm? But I prefer my pets responsive, and I’m going to want to watch this.”

As he’d thought, then. “I seem to be getting more information on your sexual predilections than my condition. And I'd rather be on my way by sunset, if it's all the same to you.”

Nii chuckled, amused. “You’re going to know more, in short order.” Hakkai placed his hand on the desk, watching him as Nii stood up, pushing his chair back with his legs before cupping the back of Hakkai’s neck with his hand, pulling him closer.

Hakkai didn’t resist, stepping in and tilting his head a little. “I’d prefer not to kiss,” he probed. Either Nii would share his preference and drop it, or he’d know how far this could go.

“Aww, that’s not nice,” Nii smirked. “For you, I mean. We’re working a strictly quid pro quo system here, sunshine.”

The pet name grated more with each repetition; Hakkai gritted his teeth, shrugging a little. “As you wish.”

Nii hummed in amusement, tugging him in to cover Hakkai’s mouth with his own; leaving part of Hakkai to wonder whether he would have bothered if Hakkai hadn’t said anything. He just barely returned the kiss, hands loose at his sides, not giving Nii the satisfaction of tension or resistance.

Nii pulled back with an exaggeratedly disapproving look. “You’re not going to get anywhere terribly enlightening that way, you know.”

Hakkai ground his teeth for a moment, letting rage build in his throat and fuel his movements as he dragged Nii forward into a brief, rough kiss, distantly surprised at his own response to it, and to Nii’s goading. Broke away, his gaze fixed on Nii’s mouth, ignoring the way his hand tightened on Hakkai’s neck. “Says the priest with an erection.”

“ _Heretic_  priest. That bit’s important,” Nii grinned. “It was always too late for me to claim purity, so I might as well enjoy depravity.” He pulled Hakkai in again, nipping sharply at his lip.

The urge to hurt him as badly as Nii no doubt would was strong, but it was balanced by an acute awareness of just how strong Nii himself was, and how far south this could go if he tried. He pulled him closer, a rough sound of impatience trapped between their mouths as they kissed, muffling Nii’s hum of approval. Nii’s hand slid into his hair, holding him in place, and his lips brushed Hakkai’s when he breathed, “Your brain is still human. Neat, hm?”

Hakkai froze, barely aware of Nii’s mouth on the soft skin beneath his jaw. The words were a splash of cold water, and he frowned. “What?”

Chuckling against his throat, Nii sank his teeth into the vulnerable skin, making Hakkai tremble with restrained instinct and reluctant pleasure. “Multitask, yeah?” he murmured, licking a long line up to Hakkai’s ear.

A growl nearly escaped Hakkai, an he hated the slight catch in his breath as Nii nipped his earlobe. Dropped his hands to undo the top three buttons of Nii ’ s shirt, scratching a thin line of red over his collarbone as he rolled his hips, focusing himself with the taunt.  “ I humbly apologise. ”

Nii shivered against him, nudging him to spread his legs, pressing his knee between them when Hakkai obeyed, the friction damnably good. “Your brain isn’t youkai, so…” Oh, gods, he was licking over the lowest limiter, a shudder racing down Hakkai’s spine at the invasion of the touch. “No wave for you.”

Hakkai pulled away from his mouth, disguising it by ducking his head to lick and nip at the hollow of Nii’s throat. “And when I transform?”

A lean thigh slid high and tight between Hakkai’s; Nii pulled him in close with an arm around his waist, rocking against him. “Smoke and mirrors. You _look_  youkai, can access certain fun abilities, but…” Deft hands pulling Hakkai’s shirt from his pants, soft voice in his ear. “Inside, nothing changes.”

Sucking in an unsteady breath, Hakkai let his head fall forward, working faster at Nii’s shirt. The theory was plausible enough - _horrific_  enough – that he couldn’t help but believe it; he'd begun his crusade as a human, after all.  He let his hand trail over Nii’s chest and tried not to react to the delicious friction against his arousal, casting about for something to adulterate the inevitability of it, for all the good it would do. “The loss of control disproves that.”

Nii’s fingers slipped under his shirt, skated over his skin, light, teasing, exploring him. “Dead wrong, sunshine,” he purred, nibbling at the skin just below and behind Hakkai’s ear, a thrill of sensation Hakkai hated. “How’s your memory for your ‘free’ time?”

Hakkai exhaled shakily, staying still under Nii’s hands as he returned the caresses, watching his reactions, pleased with his quiet hiss when Hakkai pinched his nipple, nipping at his breastbone as he turned his attentions to Nii’s pants. “Clear,” he replied quietly. “Extraordinarily so.”

The retaliation took the form of fingers sliding briefly over the scar on his belly, a curl of nausea rising in its wake. No one touched the scar, not even – Hakkai forced that train of thought away, tilting his face up obediently at the press of Nii's thumb, eyes showing nothing. “Thought so. Same thing causes both.” Nii’s mouth pressed to his again even, demanding and rough; Hakkai returned it reluctantly, tugging Nii’s pants over his hips, enjoying the tiny victory of being more clothed than Nii.

Nii’s pressed Hakkai against the desk with a roll of his hips, and his hand slid around his throat, waiting for Hakkai’s reaction with a sharklike grin. Hakkai froze for a moment, but he simply couldn't surrender so easily. His hand slid around Nii’s throat, mirroring his action, and he let his nails bite, watching Nii from beneath his lashes with a predatory smile.“Still want those limiters off?” The freedom to unleash himself here was a paradox, but a welcome one, and the wild grin on Nii’s face only sharpened it. “You said you’d talk. _Talk_. ”

Nii leaned easily into his hand, thrilling the predator within, an almost manic thread in his voice. “And you said you’d pay. You’re still in debt, kiddo.”

He forced Hakkai’s head back, teeth breaking the skin of Hakkai’s throat, making him hiss, his eyes closing despite himself at the pleasure that raced through him. Hakkai squeezed Nii’s throat hard before raking his nails down his chest, his other hand wrapping around and stroking Nii’s cock, making him groan. Wriggled against him enticingly, licking his lips. “Oh? Do tell me how to pay.”

A rough lick over bitten skin, making him flinch, and Nii bucked hard against him. “Careful, boy. Games’ll cost you.” Hakkai spread his legs further in lieu of a reply, his predatory gaze a direct contrast to the invitation his body gave. Nii licked up his throat, grinned as he looked at him, tugging Hakkai’s thigh up and against himself as he shifted to stand between Hakkai's legs, his voice a smug purr. “I’ll take a kiss in apology.”

Hakkai moaned softly, unable to help his body's response to the pressure against his arousal, or the wicked tongue against his neck. Restrained himself from biting at Nii’s mouth the way both of them wanted, giving him a slow, deep kiss instead, curling his hand around his neck in a parody of affection. Nii returned it equally gently, breaking after a moment. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you wanted to spend all day _making love_. ” He shrugged. “Your call, of course.”

Hakkai almost smirked, grimly amused. “Not with you, at any rate,” he said almost mildly, biting down on Nii’s lip until he broke the skin, scratching bloody lines across his neck as he kissed him viciously hard, leg sliding up around Nii’s hip. Nii returned it every bit as fiercely, hand clenching in a handful of Hakkai’s hair, demanding a surrender he evaded by breaking the kiss. “Better?” Hakkai purred, shifting back to sit on the desk, curling his leg tighter around Nii as he twisted his nipple viciously hard, enjoying the way pleasure and pain collided in the creasing of Nii’s brow.

Nii yanked his head roughly to the side, tongue snaking over his limiters, nipping at them as he spoke; Hakkai shivered convulsively, part of him enjoying the distinctly Bad touch while the rest flinched away from it. “I designed it for structures in Youkai brains that humans don't have. You don't have them, even unlimitered. Nor vestigial organs that differ. Nothing outside of cosmetic changes and a perfect storm of activity in your temporal, occipital and limbic regions.”

He seized a limiter between his teeth, pulled it off before Hakkai could do more than open his mouth to ask what he meant, the words torn away with a gasp and a muffled moan. Everything sharpened, the scent of arousal, the feel of polished wood beneath him, hot flesh pressed to his as Nii tugged them closer together, the harsh sound of Nii’s breath in his ear suddenly almost deafening. Hakkai moaned, closing his eyes to Nii’s scrutiny, to the terrifyingly loud clink of the limiter set down on wood. “It all gets deeper, yeah? Louder, brighter, more confusing, harder to discern or control.” His hand slid over Hakkai’s nipple before pinching it; pain and pleasure twined together, inextricable and irresistible, and he couldn’t stop himself gasping, or arching against him.

His hands stilled on Nii as he adjusted to the bizarre halfway-point to his unlimitered self that he’d never really experienced before. Then Nii curled his hand around his cock, stroking him slowly as he bit a trail down his throat, and Hakkai was helpless before the pleasure this time. His breath caught and he rocked against him as Nii’s tongue flicked against his nipple. “The powers…”

Nii’s tongue dragged up his chest. “Can’t tell you why they are what they are, but it looks like a simultaneous accessing of all levels of consciousness.” He pushed Hakkai to lean back on the desk. “No boundaries between them. That's why you can't control the killer in you, unless you're faced with something stronger.” Hakkai nodded, inhaling a shuddering breath. Purpose had been the defining characteristic of every time he’d removed them; an unconscious defense, perhaps, against the very danger Nii detailed now. It made perfect, sickening sense, and Nii smirked at him, obviously reading his expression. “Why you would happily have torn Goku to shreds, but the half-breed was off-limits.”

_Gojyo_ .

The thought of him was like a splash of cold water, nausea curling low in his belly, the familiar anger seething up in response, concealing and subsuming it. Nii touching the one thing Hakkai had so resolutely kept separate…he _ached_  for a knife, though there was only one person he could truly justify turning it against.

Nii hadn’t _forced_  him, after all.

“Stronger?”

Nii tugged Hakkai’s pants down his legs, smirking a little as he dropped them to the floor. “Gojyo. Seems to be in so deep that he overpowers everything else.”

Even kneeling before him the previous day hadn’t seemed quite as intimate – or invasive – as this clinical dissection of his self. “…why?”

“Best guess? You’re a gosling.”

It took a moment to register, but something like amusement rose in its wake, dampening the rage. “Oh, gods,” he murmured, covering his eyes with his hand, stealing a moment of refuge from Nii’s frankly lustful gaze behind it.

“He found you, after Hyakuganmaoh’s place, yeah? Almost comatose for weeks of recovery in his house.” Hakkai had a moment to wonder at the extent of his knowledge before Nii’s hands were gliding up the sensitive insides of his thighs, making him whimper, tugging his senses back towards pleasure. 

“A human limiter, of sorts?” He stroked the hollow of Nii’s throat with his thumb, needing to keep him talking, indulging in a pleasant moment of imagining how easy it would be to snap that neck.

“If you like.” Nii shivered, clearly reading Hakkai’s intent. “Slightly heightened brain activity even when fully limitered, weakened state and minimal consciousness...perfect recipe for an imprint.” He stroked over Hakkai’s legs, curled his hands around Hakkai’s hips until they pressed together. Hakkai moaned, a low rough sound, watching Nii as he rocked against him.

Nii’s hand skimmed over his cock, and Hakkai shivered, trying not to rock into it, to keep his coherence against the rising pleasure of Nii’s touch. “But my brain isn’t…”

“Not youkai, no,” Nii chuckled, stroking him again. “But not entirely human, either. After all…” he plucked another limiter from Hakkai’s ear, too fast to be stopped. “Humans don’t work like this.”

Hakkai growled a low, deep sound, the change sweeping through him like the wave he’d thought it was, back arching, eyes closing, skin exquisitely sensitive as his body trembled on the line between human and….not, barely held at bay by the last limiter. He opened his eyes halfway to look at Nii, some part wondering distantly what colour the real one was in this state even as he rocked into his hand, fingers digging into his shoulder.

Nii watched him greedily, voice sharp with lust as he continued. “No, you’re something else altogether.” His tongue flicked out over Hakkai’s mouth, and gods help him, but he couldn’t not part his lips under the touch. “And it's far more you than the human ever was.”

Hakkai shivered, torn between discomfort and arousal. “No,” he breathed, a denial that was both reflexive and pointless. _How are you even human_ , his mind threw back at him in a mocking echo; he walled away the memories of dungeons and mahjongg tiles with practised alacrity, shaking a little.

Nii grinned, giving him a brief kiss, catching his lip between teeth and tongue for a second. His hum of appreciation vibrated against Hakkai's mouth. “What do you see?”

He laid his teeth to Hakkai’s jaw at the same time his hand curled around his cock, sharp pain and welling pleasure, leaving Hakkai to blink, briefly confused by the question, disoriented by the stimulation. “It’s not very different,” he said at last, taking in an unsteady breath as he fought to think past arousal and shame and anger, not succeeding very well. He’d survived fighting Goku – fighting the Seiten Taisei – despite it, after all. “Some doubling…colours.” Blurred images, fracturing at the edge in blood and vines. He’d thought that was an effect of the circumstances he’d removed his limiters under, until the first tentative experiments after the Wave. “Can’t see them too well.”

Hakkai dragged him into another kiss, needing to keep him talking, some part of him craving the sickening feeling of Nii’s words scraping at exposed nerves and raw wounds, punishment to balance out anything else he might feel in this. Curled a hand around Nii’s neck, supporting himself as he let the other wander over his torso, ceding control of the kiss to Nii, held hostage by nicotine-stained fingers in his hair. “ _Very_  nice,” Nii purred against his mouth, pressing into Hakkai’s hands, despite the lengthening and sharpening of his claws. Hakkai wrinkled his nose in distaste at the compliment, although he schooled his face to blankness almost immediately. “Dissonance. The fake eye was made for a human, so the reconciliation is imperfect.” The man's voice leered enough to make the greasy smirk on his mouth irrelevant. "It's not providing enough...input," he joked, and Hakkai's stomach turned. Nii lifted his hand from Hakkai's cock to his chest, pushing him to lie back. “I could make you a better one. The price would be high, but judging by this, you might even be willing to pay it, hm?”

Hakkai snarled, curling his fingers, clawing at the smooth skin of Nii’s chest and stomach, aware that only the inadequate sharpness of his nails kept him from ripping it open, entirely unsure whether he regretted that or enjoyed it. “Fuck you,” he spat, curling his hand around Nii’s throat, squeezing tightly for a second, rolling his hips against him. . Nii held his gaze steadily, leaned pointedly into Hakkai’s grip, emphasising his helplessness by enhancing his own. The knowledge that he knew Hakkai would know exactly what he meant by it stung; Hakkai let go, scratching a bloody line across Nii’s neck with his little finger as his hand slid free, a reminder.

Nii grinned, swaying forward slightly to keep in contact as Hakkai lay back smoothly and spread his legs. “Well, get fucked by me, in any case,” he purred. Hakkai scowled at the remark, watched him like a hawk as he rummaged in the drawer to the right, relaxing only when he was sure the only thing Nii brought out was a bottle of lube. “And you'll play nice, won't you, sunshine?" He looked back at Hakkai with a raised eyebrow. “Because you want what I can give you far too much to take chances.” Damn the man for managing to state the obvious in a way that made it grate all over again.

Hakkai’s lips curled in a tiny smile, his eyes closing; he didn’t have to look at Nii’s smirk to know it was there. He spread his legs in blatant invitation, watching Nii with narrowed eyes, not gracing the obvious provocation with a response.

Nii’s smirk grew as he pressed two fingers to his entrance, barely enough to be felt, his other hand stroking Hakkai’s cock; Hakkai tilted his head back, giving him an openly challenging look as he rocked into his hand, only tensing for a moment as Nii’s fingers began massaging his entrance. “I thought I was playing nice.”

“Well you’re enjoying it enough” Nii grinned. His fingers pressed in quickly, roughly, making Hakkai groan as pleasure and pain collided in his body, leaving his breath quickened and his skin tingling. “No matter what you’re trying to tell yourself.”

He blocked the pain swiftly, easily; this wasn’t the worst he’d felt by a long shot, after all. The pleasure Nii’s other hand was inflicting was, however, harder to ignore; he let his head fall back rather than meet Nii’s eyes, hand clenching into a fist. “Involuntary.”

Teeth on the inside of his thigh, Nii’s voice amused, knowing, as wickedly confident as the fingers fucking him deep and slow. “If you insist. But I’ve seen the scans, sunshine.” He pressed against Hakkai’s prostate, and Hakkai made a sharp sound of surprise and need, his eyes fluttering closed as he squirmed against him, the pleasure only sharpened by blocking away the knowledge – however tenuously – of the man giving it to him. Nii chuckled, and the brief respite frayed as he scissored his fingers, stretching Hakkai as efficiently as he undid his resolve. “Sensory input run rampant…but it’s all you.” A third finger now, and Hakkai whined softly, the sting of the stretch balancing the pleasure as guilt warred with satisfaction. “Unleashed, uncontrolled _you_. ”

The words made him shiver with their truth; he exhaled a sharp, rough sound, fixing Nii with a truly poisonous glare, hands clenching, carving bloody crescents into his palms. “Response to…stimulus.” The tremor in his voice, the shaking of his breath were eloquent, undeniable, but Nii could never have forced him into this position, and he held onto that thin reassurance.

“Before the limiters came off?” Nii’s fingers dragged over his prostate as he pulled them out of him, excruciating pleasure edged with frustration; Hakkai moaned, unable to stop himself writhing under it, the pleasure every touch gave him only sharpened by the pain he craved. The sound of Nii slicking himself sent a thrill of anticipation through him, and he swallowed hard, watching him. “Stimulus…” Nii purred, positioning himself and gripping Hakkai’s thighs, holding him steady. “…and knowing you don’t have to give a fuck when you make me bleed.”

Hakkai cried out, as much from the words as the feel of penetration, his head falling back, teeth gritted as he fought for silence. He pushed up to grab a handful of Nii’s hair, tugging him roughly forward as he lay back on the desk. Nii growled, bracing himself on the desk with Hakkai's knees hooked around his arms, rocking deep into him.

Hakkai matched his growl as Nii crushed their mouths together in a vicious kiss, grinding hard against him. He raked vindictive nails over Nii’s back, his other hand digging into his shoulder as he kissed him back, muffling a groan in it, biting at his mouth, delighting in being able to hurt him as he was being hurt. Nii only groaned encouragement, his eyes glittering with lust as he pulled away to watch him. “That’s it,” he breathed, and sank his teeth into Hakkai’s throat, settling into a quick, rough rhythm.

Hakkai snarled as he rocked back against him, almost disappointed by the pain’s fading, a sound of pure need caught in his throat. This brutal rhythm was solace in a way pure pleasure would not have been. He raked red trails over Nii’s skin, curling his legs around Nii's waist when he let them go, hissing when a hand clenched in his hair, forcing him to look at him. He raised a hand to his mouth, holding Nii’s gaze as he flicked his tongue out to lap at the blood on his nails, clenching down around him, savagely satisfied by the naked flare of lust in his eyes, the rough raw edge to his groan.

A wicked grin curved Nii’s mouth; he curled his hand around Hakkai’s throat, thrusting punishingly hard into him, using the tightening of Hakkai’s body against him until Hakkai went pliant, his eyes squeezing shut as he fought to maintain the line between pain and pleasure. His lips parted, nails digging into Nii’s wrist as he let the tiny sounds in his throat escape at last, giving in. Then Nii’s hand was gripping his wrist, guiding him to stroke himself; he complied, legs tightening around Nii as he sought his climax, mindless with need and the colliding impulses of body and mind. Nii's mouth again, hand tight around his throat, and he responded fiercely, rocking back hard as he surrendered to the moment.

Nii let go of Hakkai’s cock to tangle his hand in his hair again, twisting his head roughly to the side, loosening his grip on his throat enough to lean in, bite his ear. “Come on, then,” he purred, and tugged the last limiter off with his teeth in one smooth movement.

Hakkai cried out, the sudden shift of his perception disorienting him, total clarity throwing his senses into confusion for a moment, sound blurring into sight, scent into taste, before it tilted from just enough to _too much_ , and he was coming hard over his hand and stomach and chest. Tried instinctively to twist away from Nii’s mouth as he fought to control the riptide of sensation taking over his body, pleasure overextended almost to pain and ending as neither.

He was only vaguely aware of Nii’s cry of pleasure, his quickening pace. Hard grip around his throat, and he dug his claws into soft flesh in a flash of panic, breaking skin as he twisted it off. He yanked Nii forward in the same movement, swallowing his groan of release in a vicious kiss, grinding against him hard, letting Nii’s movements draw out his own orgasm. Nii curled his hand around his shoulder for leverage, shuddering as Hakkai’s teeth split his lip, his movements slowing as his climax ebbed.

Nii finally broke the kiss with a rough exhalation and a bite, making Hakkai shudder; his body was trembling in the aftermath, and Nii’s proximity – _invasion_  - was quickly growing unbearable. He pushed at him, a warning.

Nii only laughed. “Patience, kiddo.” The pinch of metal on his ear, and one limiter was back on, the wave of sensation fading, the familiar gnawing nausea welling in its wake. He shuddered again, uncomfortable, as Nii moved back and out of him. “You won't forget, no matter how quickly you get dressed.”

Hakkai closed his eyes, not bothering to contradict him as he reached for the tissues Nii dropped next to him, cleaning himself up, watching Nii deal with his pants. “The file?” he asked, after a moment.

“Three days,” Nii said distractedly, fumbling for a cigarette in his labcoat, sitting back down as he lit up. His hands were sure as they tapped swiftly at keys, unlocking the computer; far steadier than Hakkai felt. “If only I could…”

He seemed to be more interested in the readouts at the moment, and Hakkai was perfectly content to dress himself instead. The clothes felt like security, and they muffled the unwelcome smell of sex. He was going to need a bath. _Soon_. He reached for the limiters the moment his nakedness was sufficiently mitigated, clipping both on quickly. Strange, how he felt safer with them on than all his clothes.  “Could what?” he asked sharply.

Nii blinked up at him, frowning. "Create another like you."

Hakkai snorted a little, almost amused. “I hope not, for your sake.” He shuddered, rubbing his arm with his hand as he reached for the discarded shirt. He didn't have a right to regret, not when he’d chosen this; but when had that stopped him, before?

Nii took a long drag of his smoke, raising his eyebrow. “Becoming what you are requires a depth of malevolence that I couldn't duplicate in a couple of centuries of _dedicated_  fucking with karma.”

Hakkai hummed, a humourless grin curling his lips at Nii’s statement. Malevolence summed it up so neatly, after all. “I’ll return in three days.”

Nii brightened, grinning widely at him. “What, no goodbye kiss?”

Hakkai paused, gritting his teeth as he fought not to retort, letting the slamming of the door answer for him.

The low sound of Nii’s chuckle followed him down the hall.

 


End file.
